Young Love

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I am sure that you’ve read one of the million posts regarding marriage and age, and just like fitness and health there is no one size fits all situation. Two of the most popular posts that I’ve seen are Vanessa’s on what you should do instead of getting engaged at a young age and Emily’s on why she got married young.

While I think that Vanessa’s post has some very important, I think it is treating marriage at 23 as black & white. So this is my story, and my thoughts on young marriage.

#TBT College Kelly & Nick

#TBT College Kelly & Nick

Nick and I met in college through a mutual friend. I had gone through a serious of bad short-lived relationships, although now I am not sure I would even call them that. I wasn’t looking for a relationship, but I was happy to meet a new group of people (Nick and his roommates) and to develop more real friendships.

That spring, Nick and I were both still on campus and it was my sisters graduation, I invited him to come hang out with me for a bit, everyone assumed we were dating (we weren’t), we just were good friends. During the summer I was going through some stuff with my best friend and I needed some advice and someone to talk to, someone from the male perspective, and I called Nick.Things just sort of progressed. We started talking more and more and then we started seeing each other. Things just got serious very fast.

Fast forward back to school starting, it was Nick’s senior year and my junior year (we were the same age, I was a year behind due to transferring and losing a ton of credits). I had a lot of obligations for clubs on campus and my sorority, and in the fall it’s all kinds of crazy. We had a huge fight, and in my typical style I said it was over. We didn’t talk for months, it was difficult because we still had a lot of mutual friends. At a mutual friends birthday we ended up talking and for the next few months we just talked, we took things slow and ended up getting back together. That was scary for me, and a lot of our friends expressed their dissatisfaction about it.

That summer was the hardest, my best friend passed away and I was a mess. Not only did Nick move to Boston, so did 95% of my friends, only 3 of the core group of people I hung out with were actually in my graduating class. I was angry and sad all at the same time. I spent literally all my free time in Boston with Nick. We had talked about marriage and looked at rings, Nick had stood by me through one of the most difficult times in my life thus far. I knew that he was a keeper, but I also witnessed a ton of unhappy relationships in my family and how mean those people turned after divorce. I didn’t want to have any part in that.

Marriage to me is sacred, you honor it. Marriage is not always easy, it takes constant work. You need to communicate and spend time with each other, and to continue to give to that relationship like you did when you were dating. Divorce isn’t always the answer, I truly believe that people (old and young) don’t realize that marriage can be hard and that you go through shit that may make you want to walk away, but getting to the other side, that’s the beautiful part.

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We got engaged when I was still in school, I turned 24 two weeks before our wedding and Nick was still 23. Five and half years later here we are. In a much better place then when we started dating. I’ll be honest, we’ve had some rough times, we’ve been through some situations that really test your relationship. At the end of every day I am grateful, and Nick’s support through the miscarriage has made me even more aware how great of a partner I picked. I am grateful for the hard times, because we wouldn’t have been able to get through this without those times.

Did I miss the fact that I couldn’t just pick up and travel wherever I wanted or that I couldn’t blow all my time and money on a fad or something completely ridiculous? Absolutely not. We traveled a bunch, we spent our fair share of time roaming around Boston, finding cool bars and restaurants. If nothing else, I am grateful I got to experience all those things with my best friend and my partner.

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On Love and Loss

This is a post I hoped I would never have to write, and yet here I am writing it. Some days I hope that I will wake up and it will be a bad dream, but I know that is not the truth. [FYI there will be some talk about women’s cycles here, if you think that is TMI, then you probably should stop reading]

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Nick and I have an agreement, when we are going out and there will be drinks I will take a pregnancy test, just in case. Well we were pleasantly surprised when I took one on August 10 and it came out positive. The more the news sat with me, the more excited I became. Of course there are always fears when you go from one child to two, but I was giddy.

We shared the news with our close family and friends, only a handful, and they were just as excited as we are.

I came up with wonderful ideas for this years Christmas card and how we would share the news with everyone who didn’t know yet. I started thinking of ways to organize the guest room/nursery, and how to reorganize the downstairs and B’s room.

Then just as quickly as the first trimester nausea came, it left. For a week I didn’t tell anyone, and then I finally told Nick. I came up with reasons, chasing a toddler is exhausting and I wouldn’t notice the nausea. I wasn’t teaching 8th graders that had a hard time with understanding personal hygiene. Every pregnancy is different. But I knew, I just knew something was off. I really think I just didn’t want to admit it. {I think this article really reinforced what I was thinking}

This past weekend, I participated in a Sprint Tri with a group from my gym. I was only doing the run portion, which turned into more of a walk. About a half mile in to the 3.5 miles, I started having a cramp on the front of my stomach. It was weird and freaked me out. I walked until the last .2 miles of the race. I felt like I let my relay team down, but I also had already started worrying about the cramp.

Saturday night, I felt fine. Sunday during the day I felt fine. Sunday evening I noticed some brown spotting in my underwear. Not enough to be concerned, pregnant woman can spot through their entire pregnancy and have a healthy baby.

Then it started turning bright red. At this point it was 9 pm, B was in bed, and I was freaking out. I called my dad who was an OBGYN before he went into anesthesiology. He tried to sugar coat it, but pretty much told me red was bad. I called the OB’s office emergency line and they told me to sit tight. My first appointment for this pregnancy with my OB was the following morning at 9 am.

I tried not to google, but I couldn’t stop myself. Nothing was looking good. Nick and I decided to prepare for the worst but hope for the best.

I went to my doctor appointment and told the nurse what was going on, she decided to have me go get an ultrasound done before I met with the doctor. This was my first vaginal ultrasound, and it was uncomfortable, but I watched the screen as the tech took pictures. I knew the moment the images popped up that the baby was too small for what was supposed to be 8 weeks. Then I watched her try to get a heartbeat, nothing. I couldn’t look anymore. I stared at the ceiling until she was finished, willing myself to not cry in front of a complete and total stranger. She told me the baby was measuring small and that as soon as the radiologist looked at the images and talked to my doctor then the doctor would call me.

The nurse told me they were unsure if the pregnancy was still viable. I needed to have blood work and schedule another ultrasound for the following week. After that was all set, I brought Nick and B home and went out.

I couldn’t stay in the house. I got coffee, I went grocery shopping. I walked around aimlessly at the store. I just needed to be alone, but with strangers, if that makes sense.

I was hoping I was wrong. I hadn’t had any cramps yet. The bleeding hadn’t gotten any worse. I was afraid to go to the bathroom, I was afraid to see what I wasn’t ready to admit.

Finally, I came home, and used the bathroom. I had started cramping, and there were clots, lots of them. I couldn’t move. I started crying. I knew I had lost the baby. {and I hate that word lost, like it reinforces that I did something wrong}

Nick called the doctor and we got the official news. Based on my blood work the pregnancy was not viable and I would have to let things run their course, and if they didn’t then I would need to schedule a d&c.

Nick was amazing, he called the majority of those who knew to tell them the bad news. He comforted me, he took care of B, he was the strength that I needed. I can’t even put into words, how much comfort he has brought to me in this time of need. He is/has been the most compassionate and caring person.

My heart and soul.

My heart and soul.

It’s hard for me to not blame myself, what could I have done differently so that this baby would survive? What if I stopped working out? What if I didn’t run on Saturday? What if I had a different diet? Maybe I shouldn’t have had any coffee…the what if’s and blame games are endless. A friend told me, as moms we fall in love with that pink second pink line. It’s not easier to have a miscarriage at 8 weeks just because it is an early miscarriage. Every time I go to the bathroom I am reminded of what is happening. Every time I have a cramp, I know that my body is taking the natural course, but it doesn’t make it any easier.

I’m incredibly sad, but I am trying to be strong for B. He needs a mom who is present with him, and I need to not let this take me over. I am blessed with B, but we do want more children, and I know that some do not have the option to have even one child, I am not taking him for granted, but I am allowing myself to grieve over baby #2.

I am also saying the words that have scared me for as long as I can remember. I had a miscarriage.

{As you can imagine, I am not feeling the blogging/social media thing, it has helped me to put all my thoughts down, and tell those that I just didn’t have the heart to call and tell the story all over again. For now, I am taking a break, save for the already written posts and scheduled tweets. Thank you for understanding.}

Confessions of a Mom, Vol. 4

Disclaimer: please read this post with an open mind and sense of humor. Sometimes we all need a good laugh.

 

What I am going to be like in 15 years.

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How I feel about exercise after the kiddo has been up all night.

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How I feel about mom’s who know it all, or at least tell me whatever I am doing is wrong.

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How I feel whenever my sister leaves.

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What are you confessing this week?

Check out Vol. 1, Vol. 2, and Vol. 3

Max Downtown: Celebrating 5 Years

I’m still crying over the fact that my baby is two years old.

In an effort to feel better I want to share my WIAW or WIAF(Friday), the lovely meal that Nick and I shared for our 5 year wedding anniversary.


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Awkward hands!

We ended up choosing Max Downtown, one because we love the Max Restaurant Group (they own Max Fish where I had my birthday dinner)

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Two, it was a recommendation from my favorite drink chooser, Cait.

It was pretty much fate that we picked Max Downtown, because it was right next to the hotel Nick and I spent our wedding night, The Goodwin, which is no longer in business, but it was nice to have that memory.

Not the best photo, sorry!

Not the best photo, sorry!

The place was all but deserted when we walked in, I mean Hartford isn’t exactly the bustling city that Boston is, especially during a holiday weekend, but it was weird that there were only two other tables seated when we walked in.

Nick and I started with drinks, a glass of champagne for me and the Kentucky Lemonade for Nick.

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We started with apps, but since Nick and I have some very different taste buds we each had our own appetizer.

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Caesar Salad for Nick, I see fishies…

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I went for the amazing option, the Wok seared Ahi Tuna. I loved my Tuna Tartare at Max Fish and this is a completely different dish and just as wonderful. The Tuna was seared to perfection and I loved the crust, just enough kick for me to notice, but not to ruin my dinner.

I didn’t grab a photo of Nick’s dinner, but he ended up getting the Sirloin Special which came with Beer Battered Onion Rings.

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I went with the Filet Mignon Oscar Style. It came with Jumbo Crab, Parmesan Crusted Asparagus, Sour Cream and Chive Potato Puree, and Bernaise sauce.

The steak was cooked to a beautiful medium rare, and the crab was sweet and full of flavor, however the sauce completely overwhelmed the dish, I wish it had a drizzle instead of what seemed like a heavy-handed ladle pour. I could only eat about half and boxed the rest to send home. Those potatoes though, heaven on a plate.

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For dessert we had the S’mores Brûlée (this meal is looking a lot like mine at Max Fish, huh?). Creme Brûlée is one of my favorite desserts and I love seeing a twist on a classic. The marshmallow was easy to eat with the brûlée, my only complaint was that the crackers were not crispy, they were chewy, not stale, but I was definitely missing that crunch factor.

The waitress also served us each a glass of sweet champagne, on the house.

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Nick and I leisurely worked our way through dessert and then headed home at the late hour of 8 pm, (party animals!).

I enjoyed our time at Max Downtown, and loved our entire meal. While pricy, it is definitely worth it for a special occasion, and I am glad I got to spend it with my main squeeze.

What would you order at Max Downtown?

Five Years!

Don’t forget my one true shoe love is in stores today. I suggest you hustle to your nearest retailer then have a blissful run home!

I can’t believe it has been 5 years since Nick and I were married. It seriously has felt like it was forever ago and also like it was yesterday. Crazy how that happens. We’ve had an apartment, bought a condo, bought a house, sold our condo and have had an amazing little boy. Life is beautiful and I am so happy to share this journey with Nick. I didn’t have a blog when Nick and I got married so I figured I would share a few pictures of our wonderful day.

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The Groomsmen & Nick

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THe Bridesmaids & I

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My sister, sister-in-law, and good friend. These girls I love to death!

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In the limo on the way to the church, this is one of my favorite photos and those earrings were lent to me from our jeweler, amazing.

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Dad & I. I was so incredibly nervous, not to get married, but to be the center of attention, and my dad was trying to remain composed.

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I love this moment between Nick and his Papou (grandfather).

To give some background, we got married in a Greek Orthodox church. The ceremony consists of two parts which are distinct and separate from each other: The service of the Betrothal and the Ceremony of the Sacrament of Marriage. Everything in the ceremony has a special meaning and significance, especially the repetition of each act three times to symbolize and to invoke the mystical presence of the Holy Trinity.

The highlight during the service of the Betrothal is the exchanging of the rings. The priest blesses the rings. The koumbara (religious sponsor) then exchanges the rings three times. The exchange signifies that in married life, the weakness of one partner will be compensated by the strength of the other, the imperfections of one, by the perfection of the other. By themselves, the newly betrothed are incomplete, but together they are made perfect. The rite of the betrothal ends with the priest praying for betrothal of mutual promise, officially given before the church, may prove in true faith, concord and love.

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The Wedding begins as the white candles are handed to The Bride and The Groom. These candles symbolize their spiritual willingness to receive Christ.

The crowning is the focal point of the marriage ceremony. The crowns are signs of the glory and honor with which God crowns them during the sacrament. The wedding crowns (stefana) are joined by a ribbon which again symbolizes the unity of the couple and the presence of Christ who blesses and joins the couple and establishes them as the King and Queen of their home, which they will rule with wisdom, justice and integrity. The priest takes the two crowns and blesses The Bride and The Groom. The Koumbara then steps behind The Bride and The Groom and interchanges the crowns three times as a witness to the sealing of the union.

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The common cup, the cup is denoting the mutual sharing of joy and sorrow, the token of a life of harmony. The drinking of wine from the common cup serves to impress upon the couple that from that moment on they will share everything in life, joys, as well as sorrows, and that they are to “bear one another’s burdens.” Their joys will be doubled and their sorrows halved because they will be shared.

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Parents & Grandparents

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The ceremonial walk. The priest then leads The Bride and The Groom in a circle around the table on which are placed the Gospel and the Cross. The Bride and The Groom are taking their first steps as a married couple, and the church, in the person of the priest, leads them in the way they must walk.

You are never announced as man and wife. The bride and groom kiss but this is when you are married. It is obviously different from a traditional Catholic marriage ceremony.

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Coming out of the church

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Nick’s sister was our Koumbara and my maid of honor, and we had a bit of an emotional moment following her speech. They have such a wonderful relationship, I can only hope the same for my children.

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Nick’s best man was ready to give us some laughs! Another wonderful speech.

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My sister and I, love her.

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This photo is amazing and currently hanging in our living room. Bride and Groom, Maid of Honor and Best Man.

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First Greek dance of the night.

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Greek Dancing

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Father/Daughter Dance

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Mother/Son Dance

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Nick and his Dad play a lot of gigs with their Greek band, and they both ended up sitting with our band and played during the wedding.

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My man has moves. Nick is dancing, the money on the floor is a traditional Greek thing, people throw money during special dances etc… some couples take the money, some give it as tips to the band. We chose to do the latter.

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Nick, his sister and I dancing.

I had such an amazing wedding, so happy to be here 5 years later. Here’s to 95 more, I love you.

Have you ever been to a Greek wedding? What was your favorite part?

how do you mourn a lost relationship?

Forgive me today, My mind is all over the place, and therefore my words are too. Typically I don’t read blogs that are all happy all the time. I also don’t like being a downer or complainer, but sometimes our emotions get the best of us. Let me also preface this with saying that friend relationships are completely different than romantic relationships, and this isn’t geared toward that at all

What’s Your Love Story?

Becky, From Mrs. to Mama is hosting a link up about love stories for single and taken ladies. Share your love story!

1. How long have you and your significant other been together?

Nick and I have been together since June of 2005. We met during the middle of our junior years in college.
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From before we started dating, we are babies.

2. How did you meet? {What’s your “love” story?}

We met through a mutual friend. She had known Nick since freshman year, and we were roommates while working in DC during our term abroad. We were friends for about 6 months. I visited his college apartment during a weekend at the beginning of the summer. Then we started talking on the phone every day and things progressed from there.

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From a friends Christmas party in 2007

3. If married, how long have you been married?

We have been married since July 2008. I can’t believe it will be 4 years this summer

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4. If you are married, where did you get married at? Big or small wedding?

We got married in Nick’s church in Connecticut, and had our reception at a hall nearby. It was a big wedding, my husband is Greek so lots and lots of family, friends and dancing.
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5. Do you have any nick-names that you call one another? Do share!

Not really, we never rally got into the nickname thing

6. Name 3 things you love most about your honey.

He is patient, understanding, and loving. He is also a wonderful father!
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7. Tell us how he proposed? Or your ideal proposal?

I will be the first to admit I hate surprises and will badger you to tell me my present, I just don’t like the unknown. Nick and I had looked at rings MONTHS before he actually proposed, and I badgered him constantly, I was mostly afraid of this big public proposal and not being prepared. We went for a long weekend to a bed and breakfast in rural PA. He proposed after dinner one night and it was very romantic. Fireplace, wine, just the two of us.

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A couple months after we got engaged, at my sorority’s formal.

8. Is he a flowers and teddy bear kind of guy for v-day, or strawberries, champagne, and rose petals?

Not really, and neither am I. I think if those things were important to me, he would make them happen. I prefer a nice dinner just the two of us.

9. Are you a sunset dinner on the beach kind of girl, or pop a movie in and relax on the couch?

Both, I love the beach and some of our best trips have to the beach. However we have had many a date night with leftovers, the dvr and sweatpants.

10. Tell us one thing you’d like to do with your significant one day. If you could do anything? Go anywhere?

Hawaii and traveling Europe.

11. Tell us what you plan on doing on this Valentine’s Day.

My mom is babysitting B so we can go to dinner just the two of us!

12. Are you asking for anything this Valentine’s day?

No, although the stinker already got me something

13. Give us one piece of advice of keeping a relationship strong and full of love.

You can’t make a relationship last if you can’t communicate/ Communicate your love and things that are bothering you

14. Show us a picture of what love means to you.
Love makes this

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I love love

Just when we thought the moths were gone, after we cleaned everything and left our pantry empty, we saw a moth last night while watching tv. Is it coincidental that as soon as we put all our food, in airtight canisters mind you, back in the pantry, we see one? I don’t know. I am hoping they came from another condo and we can do another solid clean of our entire place and evacuate them once and for all. This is possibly one of the most frustrating things we have ever dealt with.

Since baking will probably still be sparse, because I don’t want to keep a ton of sweets and baking materials around for the moths to get into. I am going to turn this blog into a more personal/baby blog.

But I will not dwell on the frustrating, today is a day of love. I decided to share with you some of the love in my life, in pictures :). Enjoy.

My husband, Nick, and I, in college, before we started dating:
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A few photos of Nick and I through the years:

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Nick, Maria (Nick’s sister) and I during our college years:
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Some of my best friends from college:
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At our first friends wedding, we are starting to grow up!
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Nick’s Graduation:
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My Graduation:
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A Trip to Greece to visit Nick’s family:
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Our wedding:
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my husband has some sweet moves
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Girlfriends are a necessity:
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Traveling with my family:
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Getting my MEd!
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And our love of Baseball!
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