J: Safety in Ignorance

This post was inspired by the novel J by Howard Jacobson, about a world where collective memory has vanished and the past is a dangerous country, not to be talked about or visited. Join From Left to Write on November 20th as we discuss J. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.

 J-Howard-Jacobson-Book-Club-Banner-FL2W1

I’ll be honest, it has been a crazy month. I didn’t even attempt to read the first book club selection this month, so I figured I’d have plenty of time to read the second selection, J. Wrong, the book arrived late, life has been crazy, etc… I am about halfway through and hopefully will finish by Thanksgiving!

I love a good dystopian novel, and I think a lot of the ones I’ve read have a common theme. There is Safety in Ignorance. I can’t say that I disagree with this phrase. Now I am not saying not knowing our world history is smart, I think that it is essential to know our world history so that we don’t make the same mistakes again. However, I do think not knowing the what-if’s about certain situations makes me more rational.

When I was pregnant with B it was excitement (and nausea) ALL THE TIME. I think you are always nervous about pregnancy because you can’t control it, but for the most part I was excited. I shopped way earlier than I should have, every appointment brought excitement.

With my second pregnancy, I had no reason to not feel the same way. Obviously, that didn’t end the same way, and I felt let down by my body.

I know that when another pregnancy blesses me that I will be a nervous wreck, counting the days until I get past the 8 week mark, then again until the 12 week mark. Honestly, after having frank discussions with women who have been through the same thing, I won’t be able to breathe easy until I have a living and breathing healthy baby outside of my body.

It’s not a way I would ever choose to carry a pregnancy, but I know that I will only be able to ever think about the what-ifs and worst case scenarios. I know it is not healthy to be stressed and anxious, but until you’ve been through it, I think there is no other way to feel.

Do you ever think that there is safety in ignorance?