The Opposite of Maybe: Lucky

Here’s hoping that I wake up to a UCONN win this morning!

Before we get to today’s post, make sure you head over to Friday’s post and see who won the giveaway!

This post was inspired by the novel The Opposite of Maybe by Maddie Dawson. At the age of 44, Rosie finds herself suddenly single and pregnant. She tries to hide in her grandmother’s home, but meets two men that will change her life forever. Join From Left to Write on April 8 we discuss The Opposite of Maybe. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.

FYI this post does have some spoilers.

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This book also brought up a subject that is extremely difficult for me, pregnancy. I am beyond lucky to have been able to bring one beautiful little boy in to this world and I am very aware of that.

At 44 Rosie got pregnant after unprotected sex once, once! She didn’t know and didn’t even take a pregnancy test until she was 9 weeks along, it seemed like every appointment was perfect, labor wasn’t a disaster or have any scary parts, and her child was healthy.

All of this makes so angry and so sad. After another month of tracking and testing and all of the stuff no one talks about when you are trying to conceive which is followed by another disappointing negative pregnancy test, it was so hard for me to read this entire book without hating Rosie.

She was so cavalier, at first, about the fact that she got pregnant by chance the one time they didn’t use protection, she even walked into a clinic for an abortion (this is not a political post). Eventually after the first trimester was over she got her shit together and started cleaning up her eating and reading about babies, but I just couldn’t get over her luck and her reaction.

I am not one of those people who can just listen to these stories about how someone beat the odds and got pregnant. It is so hard to hold on to the hope that things will miraculously get better. It sucks, that I have to wait a year from my miscarriage to even have the discussion with my doctor about seeing a specialist.

I, naively, though I would be pregnant by the time my due date from the miscarriage came, and I am not. That due date is 12 days away. I know that things happen for a reason, at least I need to believe that. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt when friends start posting on their blogs, FB, twitter, etc… that they are pregnant. That they weren’t even trying or that they got pregnant the first month. And on April Fools Day, the amount of people who posted fake pregnancy announcements, not only did it feel like a punch to the gut, but it seemed like people don’t understand how hard infertility or the struggle to get pregnant is. Or how long the emotion and mental parts of a miscarriage affect you.

I am LUCKY to have the support system that I do, I know that. I am LUCKY to have the most amazing husband and son. I am LUCKY that I live in a place where I might be able to have a baby when it feels like the odds are against me.

I am trying to believe in the LUCKY, but it is so damn hard.

16 thoughts on “The Opposite of Maybe: Lucky

  1. I’m sorry for your loss.

    I wanted to throat punch everyone and their fake pregnancy announcements on April Fools.

    I wish I had some sort of encouraging advice to give you. I know it is hard. Keep on keeping on.

  2. I know it’s hard for you to keep in mind all the positives in your life, but I’m happy to hear you acknowledging them in this post. The truth is that keeping the negatives in mind and letting yourself hate Rosie or others who get “accidentally” pregnant doesn’t improve anything and won’t move you closer to realizing that hope that B will have a sibling. Though I don’t know 100% what you’re going through I can relate to wanting first-instinct to handle life struggles with anger at yourself and at others. It helps to take a step back and breathe and list three happy things in your head. It sounds cheesy but it helps me!

  3. I am so sorry for your loss. Miscarriage cuts deep and that wound takes a lot of time to heal and scar over. I can totally see how this book would be a trigger. It’s been nearly 10 years since my miscarriage, but it did bother me, too, that it was all so convenient for Rosie. A little too easy.

  4. I am so sorry for your loss…and so sorry that this book triggered that for you. It’s so unfair how uneven life is when it comes to things like pregnancy, isn’t it? Thank you for posting about this, and I send you all the best wishes for a successful outcome. It sounds like you have so many blessings in your life. Sending love.

    • Thank you for taking the time to comment, Maddie. I truly appreciate it. Sometimes all it takes is a book for us to realize how good we do have things, even if it does seem unfair.

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