What I Wish I Had Known

I am sure there are a million things that can fit into this list. And maybe someone did tell me these things, but I just don’t remember. Basically mom word-vomit about things that have irked me lately.

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I cannot stop buying baby shoes!

1. The car will become your best friend or your worst enemy.

It is my best friend when I am driving anywhere from 45 minutes to 2 hours because B will sleep the majority of the trip if I plan it right. But the 5 minutes home from the grocery store every week. It is a sight, loud singing and noise making, windows open. I just need to make it home so I can get him in his crib and get him to take a real nap

2. The comparison game

I have never been one to really give a crap about what other people think of me. Ever since B came along I have been reading other blogs, how much baby weight has she lost. Why is her baby doing X younger than when B did it, The list goes on and on. And for the first time in a long time, I started deleting blogs from my reader, and people that I followed on twitter, frankly it was just too frustrating.

3. Finding mom friends is like dating, but worse.

I am the only one of my close friends with kids, and I knew finding mom friends was going to be something that I would have to do. I thought going to the park or to a class repeatedly would help, so far nothing. I have made one IRL friend but unfortunately our schedules aren’t that close and we don’t live close enough to be like “hey, lets go to the park today at 11″. Mom friending is hard because you have to be completely vulnerable and that person may not care for you one bit, or vice versa

4. What you do in your free time is completely different then what you thought it might be.

For the first 5 months of life B rarely took a nap longer than 30 minutes, and I felt like I was always running to do something. Shower, eat, workout, laundry, cleaning, etc… I had these grand plans in my head about how life was going to be. Now that B is closer to a year those things are more likely to happen, aka working out, showering and eating during one nap, it was a long road, some days I still choose to work out and nap over working out then showering.

5. Your friendships will change

No matter what you do your friendships will change. Those without kids will never fully understand what your life is like and you will never go back to your pre-baby days. This absolutely does not mean you won’t have any friends with no kids. I still have great friends that do not have kids and are very understanding of the fact that I have a child, but those days of going out to the bar on Saturday night for hours, well they take lots of planning, and lots of Advil. I will say though, my circle of friends has gotten significantly smaller, and I am happy with that, I have cut out a lot of the bs friendships. Frankly, if I had to put in 100% of the effort pre-baby, I have put in 0% post-baby. I just don’t have the time pr the patience.

6. Judgmental non-moms

Maybe this is just me, but I have encountered so many people who have implied that because I am a stay at home mom, I have all the free time in the world. Wrong. While being a SAHM is not the same as a desk job, and you will never hear me grumping about how I had to get up at 730 and feed B his breakfast then go play, it also doesn’t mean that I don’t have a schedule that I like to stick too. Also, am not home all the time.

This is all worth it

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What do you wish you knew about motherhood?

3 thoughts on “What I Wish I Had Known

  1. Great Post Kelly! I know what you mean about mom friends luckily there are quite a few ladies that i know where we all got pregnant at the same time. But I've been trying to branch out and meet new ones but sometimes it's SO awkward. Have you checked out Meetup.com it's perfect for mommy groups and stuff.

  2. I remember these days! Mom friending… ya, not an easy one. I did a lot of mom/baby swim classes. Hitting the park at 'mom' time. I fixed up a few acquaintances. but no good friends. And your friendships do change for sure.
    As for the car thing… the 5 minute car ride irked me because it took 1/2 hour to load up the car with baby and all. ;-)
    Ooo ya. Meetup.com is a good place. Lots of mom/child meet ups. In fact, now that I think of it, my friend gets together once a week to do activities. And she is having a blast.

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